There’s a lot of talk about illicit sexual acts these days, and rightfully so. Long gone is the time when people would keep quiet about inappropriate touches and, worse, rape. With various movements across the world, such as Me Too, we’re finding out about all sorts of horrible deeds some have done to others, especially women. So, our article aims to talk about consent, explaining the basics of proper sexual interaction.
Sexual Consent Must Be Explicit
Sexual encounters are tricky on many levels. Even the slightest of moves or looks can mislead you into thinking something wrong. Hence, there’s only one way you can find out whether you have your partner’s consent. That one way is if they say it loud and clear before you try anything remotely sexual.
It’s easy to assume something in the heat of the moment while flirting or talking dirty. But the reality is that even the shortest of kisses or slightest of touches can be illegal and, thus, punishable by law. Of course, some people are looking to get you into trouble by playing all flirty, but if they don’t say yes, intimacy is a no-go.
In other words, sexual consent must be explicit. Sure, it can ruin the moment for both of you if you stop and ask whether they agree, but it’s better to be safe than sorry. No flirtatious look is enough to lead to sexual contact. You and your partner must both say that you want to have intercourse before you engage.
You Can Always Change Your Mind
The thing that makes sexual consent tricky is that one partner can change their mind in the middle of the act. Of course, that means everything needs to stop. No matter what they said before, the change of heart is justified. But don’t worry. That doesn’t mean that what you did up to that point was sexual assault. It was consensual, and that’s how it will stay.
Check this article here, 5 things you need to know about sexual consent.
People go through a range of emotions during a sex act, and they sometimes feel like what they’re doing isn’t the right choice. The reasons are many, and there’s no point in listing each one of them right now. The point is, if someone says stop, you should stop. No questions asked. Just do what they say, and it will be okay.
In case you don’t, well, you’re doing a pretty shitty thing. You’re heading into sexual violence territory, acting as a full-on rapist. And we don’t need to tell you how bad that is, do we? Sex only works if there’s consent. Otherwise, it’s sexual abuse
It’s Good to Check in With Each Other
People sometimes don’t act the way they think. We all know that, but when it comes to rape prevention, it’s essential to check with each other during the act. The thing is, they might be scared to say that they’re feeling uncomfortable and keep silent. Hence, speak up from time to time if you notice there’s something wrong.
From body language to avoiding eye contact, it’s not that hard to spot if someone’s not having a good time while having sex with you. If that’s the case, stop. Sure, you might break the moment, but that’s not as important as consent to sex. The same works for you if you feel like your partner’s pressuring you into sexual intercourse.
We always say that sharing and communicating are the pillars of every healthy relationship, be it long-term or a one-night stand. No matter if you’re looking to bring something (or someone) into your bedroom, it’s essential to speak to your partner beforehand. From sex toys to new role-playing ideas, consent is paramount.
It’s Fine to Slow Things Down or Stop
Some people want to grab their chance when they realize there’s even the slightest of opportunities to engage in sex, especially teens. They crave it so much that they will rush into having intercourse just to experience it. However, that is a bad way to go about sex, no matter how old you are.
Asking your partner to slow down is always appropriate. Even if it seems silly to some, there’s no time for fun and games when it comes to sexual consent. Saying that or “Can we take a break?” should mean stop. No one says that if they don’t mean it, so take it seriously if the person you’re looking to have sex with.
On the other hand, slowing down doesn’t mean that there won’t be sex. People just need time to reassess how they feel about it before they continue. You shouldn’t look at it as a game-over sign. Slow down, stop for a moment, and discuss what’s going on and if you should pursue further actions.
Drinks and Drugs Affect Consent
The trickiest part to consent is if one of you has been drinking or doing drugs. And since sex happens during or after parties when people are intoxicated, it’s best to know what’s okay and what’s not. Namely, you can’t give informed consent to sex while you’re under the influence of either alcohol or some other opiate.
This means that if your partner is high or drunk, it’s best to leave it at that. After all, if they’re truly into you, you’ll have sex tomorrow when they’re sober. And yes, that might sound easy to say, but there’s no point in risking anything and rushing things. You never know how the drunk or high person you’re having sex with is going to feel about it tomorrow.
All these things we’ve listed are important for violence prevention. If you follow these guidelines, if you will, you’ll have no trouble with illicit sexual acts. Moreover, you’ll respect others the way you should. No matter if they’re a man or a woman. The whole point is that sex only works if there’s consent between the parties.
Lastly, if someone doesn’t respect your decisions and wishes and keeps insisting on doing something you are not comfortable with, call the police immediately!