Have you ever rejected a boyfriend or girlfriend for wanting to try anal domination, rope bondage, or even some terrifying cock and ball torture? Many consider BDSM to be twisted and psychotic, but if you look deeper, you’ll discover that it actually has many benefits for relationships. Science says BDSM is good for couples, and today, we’ll show you how your deepest and darkest kinks can actually benefit your relationship!
Bondage, Discipline, Dominance, Submission, Sadism, Male Chastity and Masochism
Firstly, BDSM is a term that consists of a mix of abbreviations. That includes B/D, D/S, as well as S/M. It covers a wide selection of kinky sexual practices and interpersonal relationships. It also refers to the distinct BDSM subculture and community.
Some popular practices include DDLG dynamics (daddy/little girl), fisting, animal roleplay, rubber fetishes, pain or impact play, chastity play, foot fetishes, femdom, etc.
What You Need to Know
Engaging in BDSM offers people a way to enact their wildest fantasies and express their individuality. To many, BDSM is a lifestyle that challenges some of the preconceived notions of relationships, love, individuality, physical endurance, and sex. Yet, since BDSM covers so much territory, it is different for every individual.
Nevertheless, a set of identical rules apply to all aspects of BDSM. Those rules require BDSM activities to be sane, safe, and consensual. Without consent, BDSM can turn into violence, exploitation, and worse.
Still, with consent and an agreement between two or more participants, BDSM can willingly be violent, exploitative, harmful, degrading. It can include even the most extreme rituals while remaining sane. With consent, BDSM couples can experiment with all kinds of kinks and acts to enhance their levels of physical and mental pleasure. There are numerous benefits to this, including a lively and refreshed sex life. The advantages extend to a closer emotional and physical bond, a deeper insight into your loved one’s personality, and much more.
Dopamine, Serotonin, and Vasopressin
During sex, we release several chemicals to enhance pleasure. They make us feel calmer, happier, and less stressed. They also boost our emotions towards our partners. However, with kinky sex and BDSM, the chemical rush soars to much greater heights.
Our pleasure hormones (serotonin, dopamine, vasopressin) act as feel-good neurotransmitters. For men, vasopressin is the key to emotional bonding with another person. For women, oxytocin is the key to developing a tight bond with another person. According to researchers, such a massive hormone release can give kinksters an instant scientific recipe for pleasure that resembles a blissful high.
For instance, studies show that endorphins can create an organic type of morphine. This chemical raises our pain threshold during BDSM. Whether it’s a light whipping or a forced throat fucking, BDSM can play around with our fear levels. That results in huge adrenaline and oxytocin spikes.
The end result is a more intense sex session with stronger orgasms, closer emotional bonds, and a floaty, dreamlike state. That’s just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to the reasons why BDSM is great for couples!
Couples Become More Open to Each Other
Practicing BDSM requires a lot of communication. In fact, in BDSM, you have to actively talk about your fantasies with your partner. You must discuss your limits, wishes, and safety concerns in order to come to some compromises. BDSM couples are also more open to the use of sex toys. One that almost everyone has would be a collar. If you haven’t seen one, you should check it out in lovegasm.
Sex therapists claim that this discussion acts as an introduction and a form of foreplay before the real thing. If you practice communication in this way, you will also improve it across the board. For example, couples who engage in exercises have a much more improved and transparent communication in and out of bed. Studies also show that BDSM practitioners are better at talking to each other than non-practitioners.
They Are More Intimate Compared to Non-Practitioners
While it’s true that all sexual activities bring us closer to our partner, BDSM takes intimacy to a whole other level. According to psychologists, vanilla sex falls behind here because it consists of low-risk activities. In any kind of scenario including domination, bondage, and submission, the physical risk increases substantially. If you allow someone to choke you, hogtie you, call you a bitch, and force you to orgasm, you’ll obviously need to establish a high level of trust. If not, you can put yourself at the risk of physical injury and mental traumas.
However, if you have a successful arrangement and stick to it, you can minimize the risk and get to know your partner better. That includes understanding their pain and pleasure thresholds and knowing how to keep them safe while pushing their limits. Another science-backed benefit of BDSM is that it decreases cortisol levels. This lowers stress, reduces weight gain, and even regulates blood pressure.
Infidelity Is Out of the Window for BDSM Couples
Unless you’re into a fetish that specifically encourages and allows cheating like cuckolding, most BDSM relationships strongly disapprove of infidelity.
Since the majority of BDSM bonds revolve around the power exchange between a submissive (slave, pet, etc.) and a dominant (master, owner, etc.), practitioners will become more devoted to each other. While many believe that those dynamics focus on cruel torture and sexual exploitation, master/slave relationships are actually more about nurturing and exploring your wildest sides together. In fact, most kinksters offer their submission and dominance as gifts. It takes a lot of trust to maintain such dynamics. As a result of increased intimacy, BDSM bonds have a much lower chance of infidelity.
Promotes Better Mental Health
If you thought that BDSM correlates with psychosis, rape, and cruelty, science has proven otherwise. According to a 2013 Journal of Sexual Medicine study, BDSM practitioners benefit from it and enjoy better mental health compared to those who only have vanilla sex. This concluded that the kinksters score much better across multiple indicators for measuring mental health.
In fact, the BDSM fans exhibited behavior that was much less neurotic compared to non-practitioners. Additionally, they were more secure, aware, open, and sensitive in their relationships and daily lives. Another interesting finding is that BDSM lovers have stronger self-esteem and much higher tolerance to rejection.
What’s more, the study also tested the subjects’ ability to heal physically and mentally. Again, the kinksters scored much better as a result of constantly having their skin receptors exposed to pleasurable and painful experiences. When the skin is stimulated, it massively reduces cortisol levels and increases the bonding hormones. In addition, BDSM interactions allow people to freely express their sexuality, which further boosts healing and enhances your well-being.
BDSM Couples Are Less Anxious
If that’s not enough to make you regret the time when you broke up with your boyfriend because he wanted to stuff an anal hook inside you and pee on your feet, science has shown that BDSM significantly reduces anxiety! In 2014, the Society for Personality and Social Psychology presented a study that found evidence of SM reducing the blood circulation in the brain. This results in the famous “runner’s high” that’s produced during various athletic activities. The study found several changes in the paralimbic/limbic and prefrontal regions as a direct result of giving or receiving pain in BDSM scenes. Those reactions trigger a sense of increased tranquility. In turn, they reduce anxiety and nervousness and generally improve focus.
Moreover, there are many other reasons why experimenting with fetishes can reduce anxiety. For one, science shows that entering the “subspace” state as a result of a large chemical rush can release psychological stress. This tranquil state is similar to those that you could reach through meditation or yoga. Conversely, when dominants enter the “topspace,” their perceptions become clearer. Plus, their minds become sharper. Such levels of concentration and a state of deep focus can free practitioners of worries and anxiety.
The Bottom Line
As you’ve seen, BDSM can significantly improve your relationship, but only if you know what you’re doing. If you stay within the rules and boundaries, you can have some profound erotic experiences that will transform your sex life and strengthen your bond with your loved one!
